Look into my eyes…

And I ask of you do not look at my outside and judge my past on my mistakes. Look into my eyes. Search deep and you will find the pain hidden within. I do not show it to the world. But please understand me when I say
A smile is not always as real as the pain beneath the surface.

Please get to know me. Please understand me before you sentence me in your eyes……..

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Deep in my heart</3

You never know when, why and you will get your heart sunk in the oblivion. It just happens with in your body where by the brain partially receives little massages.

It starts like whenever you see her, touch her, the heart pumps at an irregular pace, you lips feel open and close. You feel like you are not anywhere.

And when speaks, the ears are fully connected to heart and the brain. Within your body, there falls the passage where her massage flows like spirits down to the unknown. You can’t ignore anything from her mouth, you value her whole life more than anything.

Whenever you feel this……..she is

DEEP IN YOUR HEART

Morning thoughts

I woke up thinking so negatively this morning, but I channeled my thoughts and changed my attitude before it took over my day. I ended up having a pretty good day. It’s all about mindset. you can wake up on the wrong side of the bed but it’s your choice how you continue your day. you can’t always control events throughout the day but you can control how you react and how you respond. keep a cool head and don’t let the little things determine your whole life. feel what you feel but just because you feel a certain way doesn’t mean you should make things worse by reacting negatively. if you’re mad, pissed off, sad or any feeling that puts you in a bad mood, do something to brighten up your spirit instead of things that keep you feeling low. I know it can be difficult, believe me, I know. but it’s not impossible.

I was never…

I was never a disappointment to anyone 
I always wanted to please others 
until I got sick of it 
I became a stranger to everyone
I was never heart broken 
I was never in love
am I missing something? 
or did I pass by my love
is it important to fall in love..
to be heart broken 
to justify feeling
lonely 
sad
empty ?
NEVER SAY that I don’t understand 
because I was never in love
I will always understand 
because I can feel too

wanting…

I want to listen to some quiet music and stare into nothingness. I want to put the clock off and cuddle for hours. I want to fit in your cuddle perfectly and just cry a little. Cry for what has been, cry for how I feel today, cry for the fear for tomorrow. I want you to wipe my tears and say that it is going to be okay. I want you to hold me in that position for hours. Be quiet but repeat the same thing. Dim the lights and and hush my loud crying. Help me to cry quietly. Because I want to get this out of my being. And I fear that it will not get out of me without crying heavily. Please just me. in that perfect position. for now and forever

Psycho

A short story. Written by: Me

She never liked to share. As a little kid, she made sure no one touched her toys or ribbons and if she saw anyone with them she’d throw a tantrum. It continued like that till she matured and pursued bigger things, what was hers was hers, no one else’s.
The day she met her, she knew she wanted her for keeps. There was just something about her, it didn’t help that she was dark, tall and devilishly beautiful, witty with a sense of humor. Girls like that were hard to come by , she fell hard for her.
To her, she was just a friend, one she liked to spend time with sometimes, but to her, she was more. She never saw her as anything more, but she knew it wasn’t enough for her, while she lived life oblivious of her infatuation with her, she had already marked her as hers.
Maybe if she had known, things wouldn’t have turned out so bad. She saw her in an eatery holding a girl’s hand, looking at that girl the way she should have looked at her and she almost lost her mind. She sat in her car and stalked them for an hour. Then she followed them to wherever they were going.
She picked the lock, she had learned to do that in boarding school and now it came in handy. She walked into the house, and the thought of what they would be doing sickened her.
They were in the throes of passion so none of them saw her coming. First she knocked the girl out,then she faced her with a knife she had picked from the kitchen. “You’re mine,” she said. Then proceeded to inflict multiple stab wounds on her body, lost in her rage she couldn’t hear her pleas, it was until her eyes turned all white and her blood splashed her on her face, that she realized what she’d done.

Untitled..

Sometimes it takes a good fall to really know where you stand.. I fall too fast crash too hard forgive too easily and care too much… When you’re happy you enjoy the music when you’re sad you understand the lyrics… It’s easier too bleed your problems out… I don’t need you too make me feel like shit i do that myself.. You will always be my favorite what If?? Sometimes i get sad about everything all at once… I wanted to be your favorite hello and your hardest goodbye.. I don’t think people understand how stressful it is to explain what’s going on in your head when you don’t even understand it yourself.. I,miss the old happy me… Her heart was a secret garden and the walls were very high… Whats left unsaid says it all.. This world is a jungle you either fight or run forever.. It’s not my fault that i like you Its your fault for having everything I love.. As long as we’re under the same moon I’ll feel close too you…